Streams in the Desert

I was just in the mood for something different - and I found this at Streams in the Desert:

“Now it came to pass after the death of Moses, the servant of the Lord, that the Lord spake unto Joshua, the son of Nun, Moses’ minister, saying, Moses my servant is dead; now, therefore arise, go over this Jordan, thou and all this people” (Joshua 1:1-2).

Sorrow came to you yesterday, and emptied your home. Your first impulse now is to give up, and sit down in despair amid the wrecks of your hopes. But you dare not do it. You are in the line of battle, and the crisis is at hand. To falter a moment would be to imperil some holy interest. Other lives would be harmed by your pausing, holy interests would suffer, should your hands be folded. You must not linger even to indulge your grief. 

A distinguished general related this pathetic incident of his own experience in time of war.  The general’s son was a lieutenant of battery. An assault was in progress. The father was leading his division in a charge; as he pressed on in the field, suddenly his eye was caught by the sight of a dead battery-officer lying just before him.

One glance showed him it was his own son. His fatherly impulse was to stop beside the loved form and give vent to his grief, but the duty of the moment demanded that he should press on in the charge; so, quickly snatching one hot kiss from the dead lips, he hastened away, leading his command in the assault. 

Weeping inconsolably beside a grave can never give back love’s banished treasure, nor can any blessing come out of such sadness. Sorrow makes deep scars; it writes its record ineffaceably on the heart which suffers. We really never get over our great griefs; we are never altogether the same after we have passed through them as we were before.

Yet there is a humanizing and fertilizing influence in sorrow which has been rightly accepted and cheerfully borne. Indeed, they are poor who have never suffered, and have none of sorrow’s marks upon them. The joy set before us should shine upon our grief as the sun shines through the clouds, glorifying them. God has so ordered, that in pressing on in duty we shall find the truest, richest comfort for ourselves.

Sitting down to brood over our sorrows, the darkness deepens about us and creeps into our heart, and our strength changes to weakness. But, if we turn away from the gloom, and take up the tasks and duties to which God calls us, the light will come again, and we shall grow stronger.

–J. R. Miller

Thou knowest that through our tears
Of hasty, selfish weeping
Of loss thou hast in keeping
Thou knowest that in grasping
The bright possessions which so precious seemed
We lose them; but if, clasping
Thy faithful hand, we tread with steadfast feet
The path of thy appointing,
There waits for us a treasury of sweet
Delight, royal anointing
With oil of gladness and of strength.
–Helen Hunt Jackson

Zone Update

I started The Zone Diet on August 5, 2008.  As of today, I have been on it for a little over a week (going on 10 days).

The report as far as the ease of doing it:  it’s pretty easy to get into the routine.  In a way, it’s been a good thing, because it has forced me to do things like cook, plan meals, and clean up the kitchen after each meal so that I will have clean space in which to work the next day.  The food choices are…for someone of my limited palate, not bad.  [And by "limited palate" I mean "finicky."  I have had a combo of black beans and kidney beans twice in the last week as my carbohydrate because I just don't want to eat any more lettuce or broccoli.] 

Feeling-wise, I’m kind of surprised that I’m as tired as I am.  Everything I read about the diet says that you will have all of this energy, and I don’t feel it.  I have had good moments (even some good hours), but overall, it’s not what I expected in that respect.  On the plus side, it’s forcing me to get more sleep, since I can’t just eat my way out of the fatigue as I had been doing before. 

That said, I have noticed that my clothes are fitting a little more loosely.  Given my aversion to scales, I don’t know how much I weigh, or how much I might have lost in the almost-10-days that I’ve been on this eating plan.  I do know that I have eaten more vegetables and fruit than I would have chosen to eat on my own.  I also know that it’s been kind of fun to plan this stuff.  I’m thinking I will have to break down and go to a steak house for a petit steak, since I can’t buy anything that tastes half as good without ruining it by my lack of cooking skill…. 

I’m also not that hungry in between meals.  There have been occasions when I have been ready to eat the next thing that walked into my office, but those moments passed.  Plus, the Zone bars are more readily available (and taste better) than the Atkins bars - AND, a half of a Zone bar equals a perfectly balanced one-block snack! 

So far, so good.  I will keep you all posted on the progress.  My goal is to be able either to wear a dress I have had in my closet since the last firm/client Christmas Party, or to have said dress be too big for me (thereby justifying the purchase of a new one!), which is early December.  [If I'm successful, there may be "before" and "after" photos in the offing.]  Any benefits aside from that are gravy - or, parsley garnish.  Yeah, that’s it.  Parsley garnish. 

Morning Chuckle

This little guy was in the parking lot this morning, so I couldn’t help but take his picture:

I’m not sure what he is - he looks like a little cartoon ant with a helmet - but it was just so unexpected and cute that I had to share it! 

DIY - Sewing

I have a tired old lunch bag that is in need of repair.   I’m trying to think of something clever and cute (and more durable) that will replace it, and all I’ve come up with so far is a denim version of the same thing, which wouldn’t be too bad, but it would require actual sewing. 

I have some old jean material that would work well.  I will try it and see what I come up with.  If it works, I will post pictures.  [I might post pictures even if it doesn't work - cautionary tales are as useful as success stories!  :)]

Monday Morning Quarterback

It was a good weekend on one hand - I got two loads of laundry done, I stayed in “the Zone” all weekend without incident, and I got some rest (not a lot, but some).  I’m still tired, but I think I could possibly catch up this week….  Or not. 

On the other hand, I didn’t get into the office AT ALL, which meant that I had to make a quick stop to pick up my file for this morning, on which I was scheduled for a trial, only to find out half way to court that I had no client witness.  (I was able to get the trial adjourned, but that added at least 100 new gray hairs that I didn’t really want.)

I stopped in to see my aunt and to see if she wanted me to take the CD with her medical test results on it over to her doctor at the hospital where the procedure would be done (if it’s going to get done at all).  When I got there at about 11:45 a.m., she was still sleeping - I felt bad about waking her up, but she did need to get up for at least a little while. 

She hasn’t been sleeping at night, and I think it’s partly because she sleeps during the day.  Which happens when you’re that tired - I know something of what she’s going through, as I have felt like I had been run over by a truck many times when my hemoglobin gets really low - but I hope she isn’t falling into the “I’m so tired so why bother getting up at all” trap.  That will suck the life out of you faster than almost anything else…..

Anyway, she said that her doctor across town had gotten the results already, so I stayed and chatted with her until my uncle got home, which ended up being about an hour and a half.  It was nice to talk to her - I really enjoy it, and I’ve missed talking to her because I’ve been living farther away, and she’s been sick.  I’m kind of apprehensive about when they’re going to do the surgery, and I’m a little worried about the whole thing, but otherwise, it’s OK. 

My aunt, on the other hand, seems quite at ease about it - she’s already made up her mind that if they think there will be any questions about the one procedure at all, they might as well go in and replace the mitral valve and get it over with!  :)  I think she’s just so tired of being tired that she is prepared for anything and that she might as well have the open heart surgery as go through an extra procedure that might not work.  I hope I’m that tough when I’m her age if I have to face anything like that!

Anyway, that was my weekend.  :)  How was yours?

BTW - there is some really good news over at Kim’s.  Her place is always a blessing, and this time, there is added joy, so go stick your head in the window over there and say “hi!” 

Breaking News: Detroit’s Hip-Hop Mayor isn’t hopping very far

Mayor Kilpatrick is back out of jail, pending his arraignment on the charge of assaulting a Wayne County Deputy Sheriff, but he has some hefty conditions, including a $50,000 bond, a tether and no travel.

DIY - Upcoming Events

OK, this is (sort of) what the living room looked like before:

It’s mostly Tanner’s nose in the photo, but you can kind of see the couch against the “window” in the background, creating this cave-like effect.  (OK, you can also see that housekeeping is not one of my better traits, but let’s just overlook that for now, shall we?)

 

 

 

 

I took a couple of pictures this afternoon of the new arrangement, so that you could see the difference:

This shows the more open space created by moving the couch against the wall, instead of against the doorwall.  The one below shows the difference from a slightly different angle (and a dog standing in the middle of the room with a, “why aren’t we going outside?” expression on his face.)

 

 

 

So, this is the result of my first adventures in decorating (so far). 

As of today, I have the following list of things to do to my place:

1.  Replace the water heater

2.  Paint the kitchen (cabinets and walls).

3.  Replace the light fixtures in the kitchen.

These are all things I want to have done by Thanksgiving.  Eventually, I will have to replace the air conditioner and furnace, although I am hoping that I can hold off on those for another year or two.  I also want to replace my kitchen counter-tops and vinyl flooring, but those are not things I have to do right this minute.  Technically, the only thing that “has” to be done is the water heater, but the other two are things I would like to do this year. 

I will also have to replace my refrigerator - probably in the next year - but again, I’m waiting until I have to.  Tempting fate, yes, but I want to have the money in my bank account to pay cash for it.  I’m going to see if I can get a drip pan for the water heater until I can pay cash for that, since I ended up spending the water heater money on car repairs last month.  One thing at a time, though.  One thing at a time. 

Bumper Sticker

This was on a car window in our parking lot this morning:

 

 

 

 

 

It reminds me of the ones that used to be on Florida cars in the mid- to late-80s:  Will the last American leaving Miami please turn off the lights…..

Yes, it’s going to make for an interesting November.

Wednesday Meme

This, courtesy of Enola, is just for funsies:

1. I’m tired of: doing the same thing, day in, day out.
2. I need to keep: working, instead of letting myself get distracted at work! 
3. I am listening to: the hum of the air conditioner and the guy in the next office on his phone…..
4. I wish: I could have a real paid vacation - 2 weeks off, with spending money and no “Bat phone”
5. Chocolate is: not allowed on the Zone Diet….  Alas!
6. I have lost my respect for: PBS - a long time ago
7. I last ate: 2 scrambled eggs with cheese on half of an English muffin (and 2 dried prunes)
8. Someday: I will visit the British Isles
9. I will always remember: to take off my makeup before going to bed
10. Love is: my dog looking out the window waiting for me to come home
11. Today is:  4th billing day in the month - 3 1/2 weeks until I can go visit my parents
12. Tomorrow:  I need to get laundry done - SERIOUSLY!
13. Party:  Not so much - parties and I don’t get along well
14. Where is your cell phone?  Plugged into my computer - for synchronization purposes….
15. Tired or Energy: tired
16. Are you wearing jammies? No.
17. Upset at?  Having to be at work instead of at home sleeping in.
18. Last beverage: diet Dr. Pepper - I’m trying to get out of the diet Pepsi/diet Coke rut
19. Last phone call: My mother last night - she keeps nagging me to just move to Alabama, and she knows I hate it down there…
20. Last time you cried? about a week and a half ago
21. Fallen out of love? Yes.
22. Laughed until you cried?  Not in a long while….
23. Met someone who changed your life?  Yes
24. Most interesting thing you’ve done today?  I won a case with an email. 
25. Favorite number(s): 17
26. Current mood: waiting
27. Last people you hung out with: my aunt and uncle - Sunday evening
28. Dream Car:  an SUV that gets 40 mpg - - OK, seriously, anything new right now would work.
29. Hair: Loreal Superior Preference, Medium Copper Brown
30. If you could have one thing, what would it be?  Financial freedom
31. Birthday: Not yet, please
32. How’s your life?  Still here
33. Last time you held hands with someone?  Years ago….
34. Last hug?  Sunday (see #27)
35. Ever crawl through a window?  I’m not sure…..  Maybe to get into someplace I’d locked myself out of, but I’m really not sure. 
36. A weapon to suit your personality:  Glock 9 mm, with a backup magazine
37. Where’s your mom?  In Alabama, hopefully still sleeping…
38. Morning or night? Night
39. Last movie? Indiana Jones #4
40. Scars:  Many, but the ones I remember are:  chin (from an ice skating incident at about age 5), and a surgical scar on my right wrist from repair of a fracture in 1998.
41. Thing about the opposite sex you first notice:  eyes and hands
42. Dye your hair red?  Not exactly - reddish undertones maybe (see #29 above), but not “red.”
43. Worst personality flaw?  Too easily bored.

If you want to play along, feel free! 

Zone-d Out (Day 1)

OK, after months days of trying to get things back on track in my life, both in my diet, my living space, and my work, I finally made the decision to get in the Zone.  The Zone Diet, that is.  It was one of those things that I just decided to do, since it combines (some of) the simplicity of the Atkins plan, with more actual carbohydrates to hopefully keep me from snapping someone’s neck like a twig (no particular someone - when I get like that, the nearest human standing will do). 

So far, so good.  Since I have been recovering from eating disorders for the past, oh, 20-something years, I have not owned a scale since about 1993.  [You think I'm kidding?  When I go into the doctor's office, I never look at what the scale says - I turn around, and I ask them not to tell me.  Seriously.] 

Anyway, today’s menu was 2 eggs, scrambled, with PAM butter-flavored spray and about an ounce of shredded cheese (which equals 3 blocks of protein), 2/3 cup of unsweetened grapefruit juice, and 2 dried prunes.  Yes, most of that was in the “unfavorable” category, but it was my first day.  I stayed in the blocks, and even though I almost went overboard at breakfast, I did OK. 

Lunch was 3 ounces of tuna in water, plus a cup of oatmeal with 1 tsp of canola oil mixed in.  (I’d thought I would have oatmeal for breakfast, but I got stuck thinking I had to also have fruit, not realizing that the fruit WAS the carbohydrates, and that I couldn’t have both at the same time). 

I didn’t pack any snacks, so that will be my next project for this week:  making snacks that are Zone-friendly ahead of time, so I can take them to work. I only get 11 blocks per day, which isn’t that bad really, so I have 3 blocks each category for each meal, and then 2 snacks at 1 block each in between breakfast and lunch, and then again between lunch and dinner. 

As for my living space, I will try to remember to bring photos of my living room - I didn’t think to take “before” pictures, so you will have to use your imagination on what it looked like before, but I like the openness now.  There is a lot more light in the living room, so that it doesn’t have that “cave” feeling. 

Also, I think I know what I want to do in my kitchen finally.  Once I get that straightened up better, I will take a “before” picture of that, so that when I do the “after,” you can all go, “WOW!”  :)  Glenn Haege, The Master Handyman, always says that before you start a home improvement project, you should decide when you want to be done.  So, I’ve decided I want to have my kitchen done by Thanksgiving.  I’ll keep you posted. 

It’s all about keeping busy.  These are tied together, by the way.  If I have things to do at home (or at work), I will feel more productive, AND I will be busy doing things instead of eating because I’m bored.  Neat how that works out, isn’t it!